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The Writer
 PeiZhen Legal 23 27/12/87 NTU-Accountancy Now Playing
  Music Playlist at MixPod.com I believed when the clock struck 12 I would still remain gracefully posed in the centre of the ballroom . I believed the prince would take my hand and tell me he has chosen me . I believed it wasnt just a fantasy.. I guess I was delusional in the face of something so perfect ? because the dress turned back to rags my long hair fell down back to my shoulders with all the jewels gone.
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Wednesday, January 20, 2010 8:23 PM Can't believe I have actually arrived at the despo state of coming down here to make myself feel alive once again while still at the client's place. While my collegues are still frantically and furiously rushing to meet deadlines, I am here at blogger.com. For the past few hours, I have been dead. My brain just stop functioning and I just couldn't move on. It was as though my soul has vanished through the thin air, and I am here grasping for breath. Having to wait for colleagues to say 'Let's Go Home'and having to force yourself to stay on while in actual fact, you just cannot seem to regain your concentration, the feeling sucks, really. I know I am terrible, for whatever you think, You can mock at me for being weak, you can laugh at me for being useless, for being selfish and you can scold me for the lack of responsibility. To what I am doing now, I truly surrender. I couldn't find the satisfaction I used to have, not to say the urgency that I am supposed to be having at this moment in time. The anxiety of escapism deepens whenever I wanted to give myself the chance to try it out, to push myself even further. However, this just couldn't seem to work out for me and for once, I feel the relief of having made the right choice. Not to say that my next job will be any less demanding or stressful, it suddenly just fall on me that doing the job you like is really the most important thing ever. It determines your responibility, your determination and commitment towards what you are doing. Otherwise, it is just a waste of time, at least this is what I feel. And to all my friends out there who have shared with me your two cents, thank you very much. For those who have scolded me, I thank you for I know you peeps are scolding me for my own good. I am sorry that I have allowed you to discover the weaker side of me, the friend who only knows the solution of giving up and keeping herself safe by staying in her comfort zone. And I am sorry that I just couldn't force myself to be like you, to learn to like your job. I do not want to pretend to love my job when actually, I hate it so much. Of course, I apologise for all the disappointments in me. And for those who have given me your support, I thank you for your faith, trust and understanding in me. I have no clue to what I will become in years to come, for I feel as though I am still a stranger towards myself. And till then, your encouragement is indeed precious to me, to keep me going. 真。心话 |